Top Ten Ways Batman can beat Superman

super7Okay, so it’s a given Superman can beat Batman in about five seconds, but Batman still has a few tricks up his sleeve.  I have a list here that has a few of those tricks and we might even see a few of these in the upcoming Batman versus Superman movie.

10.  Kryptonite – This one is obvious.  Captain Smart finds out Superman’s weakness somehow, probably from Lex Luthor, who knows all about Superman.  It’d be a good way to shoehorn in Lex Luthor and team him up with Batman to bring down Superman.  Batman could put the Kryptonite in his armor and beat the snot out of Superman.  

9.  Super Armor – Speaking of armor, the armored Batman suit has been rumored to be in the movie for a while now.  Almost taken directly from Dark Knight Returns, the Batman armor is reinforced and able to absorb a lot of damage.  Is it enough to take on Superman directly?  Punch his lights out?  Probably not.  It’s going to need something else.

8.  Electro-zapper – A Batman suit of armor with an electricity zapper could keep Superman back long enough for Batman to put him in a fancy trap or something.  I think it’s best for Batman to load up on the gadgets, because Superman might be able to shrug off these things.

7.  Sonic-zapper – Superman’s hearing is really enhanced, so it stands to reason that a super-duper sonic weapon would do some damage.  Makes sense, right?

6.  Red Sun – Superman gets his powers from the yellow sun of our solar system.  If Batman were to somehow trap Superman underground or keep somewhere isolated, he could manipulate the sun’s rays or eliminate them completely.  Under a red sun, Superman doesn’t have any powers.

5.  Blackmail – This ole trick works every time.  Blackmail Superman and then kick the snot out of him when you’ve got him right where you want him.  Who needs gadgets when Batman can threaten The Daily Planet.  If you think Batman wouldn’t do that, he might cook up any number of things to manipulate the Man of Steel.

4.  Nuke him – Superman has been hurt by nuclear weapons in the comics, so it stands to reason that Batman could easily utilize a weapon like this.  I’m not saying he’d use it in a populated area, but if Superman was in the right spot at the right time: Bam, mushroom cloud.

3.  Magic – Batman could hire any number of mystics, shamans, and voodoo priests to conjure up a way to hurt Superman.  This could be the first appearance of Captain Marvel aka Shazam, and he could kick Superman’s behind.

2.  Allies – Who needs to get their hands dirty, when Batman could just direct the battle from afar.  He could call in Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Green Lantern, and Cyborg all at once.  He could inspire the movie’s subtitle.  He could be the good guy, taking down the enemy of the state, Superman.  After all, this guy leveled a city while battling Zod.  The USA might sponsor a Justice League to take him down.

1.  Traps – Honestly, I think this is the best way to hurt or incapacitate Superman.  Slug it out with Superman and trick him into stepping on a Kryptonite landmine.  Hold him with anti-gravity supertechnology thingie or force him to watch a Paulie Shore movie.  The ideas are endless.