Top 10 WORST movies of 2015

moviereviewsMy list of the worst movies of 2015 is littered with disappointments and crap—just the kind of thing that gets me to sit down to write a stupid blog post.  From conception to premiere, there’s no doubt that these ten movies are just plain dumb.  At least in some way.  I think 2015 was filled with a LOT of movies that failed to meet expectations, and people are probably so very surprised that Star Wars did, which is why there are so many repeat viewers.  People like when movies excite them beyond expectations and present something new, different or unexpected.   ALL of these movies fail to do that.  

 

10.  Chappie – This movie sneaks onto this list with a FAIL to expectations.  The trailer actually manipulated my expectations of this stupid movie and I was presented with a civil rights story in my mind, like a serious version of Isaac Asimov on-screen.  But it was snatched away from me by its stupid presentation and the lame acting.  Even Short Circuit from the 80s has more heart than this movie.  The offensive part is the tease of big ideas and themes, which never amounted to anything.

9.  Jupiter Ascending – Jupiter has the opposite problem from Chappie, in that its trailer did not set anything up.  It’s just a generic science fiction thriller, weighed down by a huge amount of stupidness, like the effects.  You can see where all the money went.  This movie is destined to be a hotel on-demand darling, which is NOT a good thing.  It’ll be half-off forever.  It is dumb and boring and drags everywhere, with an excess of almost everything except a good story.

8. Terminator Genisys – Genisys is another “stupid trailer” offender of 2015.  I was prompted by the DUMBNESS of the trailer not to see this movie right away.  Arnold is not edgy.  At all.  He feels like your father playing in a movie.  Probably the most annoying thing about this movie is that it changes stuff to try to be “cool”, like the word Genesis misspelled with a “y”.  It at least has a story, unlike Jupiter Ascending, but the narrative is contrived.    

7.  The Boy Next Door  – The rest of the movies from this point forward are stupidly constructed and have flaws in conception, rather than execution.  I guess you could argue a Jennifer Lopez movie is good concept to begin with, but putting her in a reverse Fatal Attraction scenario with a teenager is a stupid one.  There’s a sex scene with this teen and J-Lo.  A boy beats another student and fractures his skull, but there’s no police involvement because he’s a “minor”.  What?  This movie stretches believability beyond the max.  The biggest insult is that Lopez plays this loser wife with a cheating husband and she sobs over glasses of wine, unable to divorce him.  You must be joking.  Who the hell would cheat on J-Lo?  Nobody, that’s who.  Who saw this movie?  Nobody, that’s who.

6.  Mordecai – Another caricature movie for Johnny Depp.  And it’s dumb.  Just dumb.  You’ll notice that some of the biggest offenders this year happen to be comedies and I agree.  When the comedy misses, it often REALLY MISSES, like in this movie.  This movie wants to be The Pink Panther, but the script has no decency, so it’s not even close to that kind of tone.  It has sexual jokes and stupid juvenile humor.  This movie WISHES it were The Pink Panther.    

5.  Fantastic Four – The problem with this movie is that it has a bad concept AND an execution problem AND doesn’t meet audience pre-conceived notions of the superhero First Family.  A lot of these notions have to do with the public’s initial negative buzz with Fantastic Four.  Most of the changes made from the original Fantastic Four movie are stupid, which doesn’t help their cause for being as good as Marvel.  It feels unpolished, rushed, and choppy, like a lot of people have touched it and screwed around with the script.  It ends up like a mess.

4.  Paul Blert: Mall Cop 2 – This is another dumb comedy,  which has the additional problem if being a bad sequel too.  It has the same dumb concept as the original, only now there’s more of it.  It’s too bad that Kevin James has to play such an unlikeable character, because he seems to be a talented actor.

3.  Vacation – National Lampoon’s European Vacation and Christmas Vacation are classics.  This movie is not.  It’s a crude comedy and usually those are rated quite low, but this crude comedy goes to new lows. Comedy now passes as swimming in feces and nine year olds using bad language like an old man.  Randomly.

2.  Ted 2 – If you thought the original Ted was dumb, then this must be the dumbest movie of all time.  This is another crude comedy like Vacation, but it’s just a retread.  It’s also a nasty film with disgusting and stupid stuff meant to shock people, but none of it is funny.  A cow exploding on people is meant as a joke, but it only offended people when I was in the theatre.  A family left with their kids.  The kids were crying.

  1.  The Lazarus Effect – This is a stupid horror movie that’s not scary, funny, suspenseful or otherwise.  The director uses darkness and jump-cuts to try to reinforce his stupid script, but it doesn’t work.  The script is dumb.  This movie has a lot in common with Frankenstein, but the script humanizes the characters in The Lazarus Effect and makes them out to be good people, so when one of them comes back as a monster, it doesn’t work.  There’s nobody else but the lazarus “monster” to villainize, unlike in Frankenstein, where you have Dr. Victor Frankenstein.  Also, the director takes no chances whatsoever, and it feels like a thriller from the 90s.  It’s poorly acted and it’s a cliche factory, making it the worst movie I’ve seen in 2015.

 

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