31 Days of Halloween 2016 #5 – The Vampire Motorcycle

motor3What makes a good bad movie?  I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990) is a movie that’s bad on purpose, not like Battlefield Earth or something, but it’s debatable if it’s so bad it’s good.  It’s a British horror comedy, made by two regulars from an old British TV show called “Boon”, and it features all the show’s usual cast of characters, and Anthony Daniels, of C-3PO fame, is along for the ride too.  To make the film, the cast lied to the TV studio about doing reshoots and shot this B-Movie gem in about a week.  It’s horrible.  

The movie begins with a turf war between two gangs of motorcycle dudes.  They drive around and fight each other.  Eventually, the demon worshippers are killed by the road huggers, but not before one of the jerks happens to summon a demon.  The demon takes a liking to one of the motorcycles and sets up shop.  Yeah, this movie is sorta like Christine, and it operates in the same way mostly, complete with all the Stephen King copycat scenes, including one where the bike comes alive.

motor2As the rip-off begins, a young man with very little money buys the demon motorcycle, like Arnie in Christine.  Later, the bike shows it doesn’t like to be messed with and decapitates some guy in retaliation.  Just your normal demon bike.  Anyway, the young man doesn’t pay much notice, until he orders takeout with extra garlic.  Yeah, you can guess what happens.  The bike goes nuts.

The bike trolls the town and kills people indiscriminately.  Next, the movie copies off An American Werewolf in London as it stalks its victims and is eventually cornered.  I will say the script is pretty bad, but that’s intentional I think.  The humor itself is of the lowest order and not at all what I was expecting.  I was expecting Shaun of the Dead and got Dumb and Dumber instead.  The toilet humor is in full force here.  Just about all the characters crack a fart or crap joke at one point, except Anthony Daniels, who’s too good for that kind of thing I guess.  To reinforce that they love this kind of approach, the movie throws in a talking piece of crap.

Overall, this movie is underrated, but I can see why it’s not very memorable.  It does a lot of things in bad taste, and many of the jokes are as vulgar as it gets.  The story is absurd and it knows it.  The best scene is probably the decapitation or the bike rampage, but I want to forget about the talking piece of crap scene.  He’s in a toilet too.  Can’t believe I watched this movie.




31 Days of Halloween 2016
31. Young Frankenstein (1974) 
30. Jason X (2001)
29. Cloverfield (2008) 
28. The Monster Squad (1987) 
27. Bad Moon (1996) 
26. The Haunting (1963) 
25. Splinter (2008)
24. Frenzy (1972)
23. Aggression Scale (2012)
22. The Exorcist III
21. At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul (1963)
20. Silver Bullet (1985)
19. Joy Ride (2001)
18. Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
17. The Funhouse (1981) by Tobe Hooper Shin Godzilla (2016) 
16. Videodrome (1983)
15. Re-Animator (1985)
14. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
13. Cube (1997)
12. Evil Dead 
11. Day of the Dead (1985)
10. Tales of Halloween (2015) Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1941)
9. They Live (1988)
8. The Innocents (1961) Rasputin, the Mad Monk (1966)
7. Jacob’s Ladder (1990)
6. Dracula: Prince of Darkness (1966)
5. I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)
4. Hatchet (2006)
3. The Little Shop of Horrors (1960) The Abomidible Dr. Phibes (1971)
2. Halloween II
1. Silence of the Lambs